Bulletins

What do we mean by bulletins?

A short report, especially one released through official channels to be broadcast or publicized.

A short news report.

A short printed publication, especially one produced by an organization.

'Announcements' that Myspace whores issue on an annoyingly regular basis, bulletins are devoid of any worthwhile content and conventionally consist of a running commentary on the given Myspace whore's boring whore-ish life. 'Quizzes' that ask retarded questions such as: "what is your ex's dog doing right now?" and "do you regret fornicating with the milkman now that you have syphilis?" are also common features. Due to the fact that Myspace whores base their self-worth on the number of picture comments that they can scrounge, you can sometimes get a bulletin that begs for picture comments too! Urban Dictionary

Here are some good examples of classic church bulletin bloopers: 1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 2) The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. 3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. 4) Evening massage - 6 p.m. 5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning. 6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession. 7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door. 8) Ushers will eat latecomers. 9) The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment. 10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. 11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. 12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." 13) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. 14) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience." 15) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice. 16) Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All" 17) The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth. 18) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 19) The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 20) The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. 21) 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why. 22) A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday. 23) Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir. 24) Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding" 25) On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr.Hargreaves is better. 26) Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow. 27) Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help. 28) The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11. 29) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. 30) 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 31) The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. 32) Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child. 33) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance. Urban Dictionary

(n) faeces. "to issue a bulletin" is to excrete an amount of faeces toiletwards. See also: all-points bulletin Urban Dictionary

To convert information, useless or otherwise, into a bulletin on myspace in order to share it with a large number of friends or waste their time Urban Dictionary

Someone on myspace who leaves an infinite number of bulletins on myspace to the point u cannot keep up with them and they are basically the same thing rephrased. Urban Dictionary

A person (usually female), who is on your myspace.com friends list, who posts an unholy amount of bulletins, until every bulletin you see is from that person. These bulletins are usually incredibly pointless, and consist of at least one of these things: -Random outbursts, talking about how much they hate "drama". -Begging for picture comments. -"Talk.. Urban Dictionary

A group of words posted for all of your myspace friends to see that typically consists of a curse of bad luck, survey, mass murderer,pleas for comments, insane obnoxious list of things wanted in a relationship usually includes some sappy love story , announcement of new pictures, etc. Urban Dictionary

Someone that leaves pointless, nonsense bulletins nonstop on myspace, or any other place like that. The most common type of bulletin whore is the person that actualy repost the things that say you will die if you dont repost it. Urban Dictionary

The person on MySpace who posts five bulletins, one right after another, usually surveys, and takes up all your bulletin space on your homepage. Urban Dictionary

When someone says something so funny on aim that it is worthy to put it on myspace as a bulletin Urban Dictionary

Words that are spelled similarly to bulletins:
bulletins, bulletin, bulleting, bullets, billeting, gulleting, bulletined, mulleins, vbulletin.

Adjectives that are often used to describe bulletins:
daily, special, monthly, official, technical, regular, weekly, various, latest, several, statistical, medical, numerous, frequent, hourly, agricultural, ecological, current, quarterly, periodic, mimeographed, occasional, printed, annual, free, recent, internal, following, periodical, abstract, brief, french, separate, regional, informational, available, educational, later, excellent, cumulative, supervisory, valuable, popular, confidential, subsequent, earlier, administrative, painted, minute, date, legislative, helpful, informative, departmental, secret, false, mail, meteorological, useful, wireless, descriptive, successive, bibliographical.

Words that sound like bulletins:
bulletins, bulletin, billiton, bullions, buttons, paladins, balaton, booleans, britains, britons, platoons, gelatins, plutons, bretons, powhatans, belittles, bullington, balloting, bullyings, billeting, billions, brightens, bullets, blatant, bolton, ballons, belladonna, balkans, belton, biotin, bolten, belgians, blyton, boulton, balata, bilton, baritones, billons, bostons, bullet train, boylston, belly dance, bellydance, bellbottoms, boletus, battens, bludgeons, bell bottoms, bartons, ballades, belly buttons, bulleted, bella donna, beldams, bullet point, baldwins, ballota, beladen, bellybuttons, billy buttons, ballottement, batanes, bluten, bourdons, bull tongue, pollutant, palatine, gluttons, peloton, pollutions, guillotines, peleton, polities, pelotas, palletize, pulmones, butanes, buildings, built-in, billington, bleedings, belating, bolivians, beltin, builtin, built in, bell tent, ballistas, bullet head, balladeers, bullion, broadens, burtons, balance, abilities, balence, ballads, balian, balagan, balatron.