Can Openers

Aren't you just sitting at your desk, Wikipedia-ing the evolution of can-openers? ❋ Meredith Fineman (2010)

Its new ram features blades like can-openers that catch and sweep the pipe into the center as they close. ❋ Daniel Gilbert (2011)

Lifts and escalators, and even labour-saving devices such as electric toothbrushes and can-openers added to the problem. ❋ Unknown (2008)

Pointee ends mayg grate can-openers adn kitteh haz enuff claws to open up foar at a thyme. ❋ Unknown (2009)

The former two have been known to assume a few can-openers for other than economic reasons such that their conclusions are suspect. ❋ Ed Hollett (2006)

If they assume different can-openers, then the entire analysis heads for the ash can. ❋ Ed Hollett (2006)

Taxonomies are tools, so there's no such thing as the One Right Taxonomy, just as can-openers aren't more right than asphalt spreaders. ❋ David Bigwood (2004)

The village belles, not to be outdone by the young men, discarded the old bone fish-hooks they had been wearing for ear jewelry and adopted the more natty safety-pin, at the same time making for themselves pretty waist belts with can-openers for danglers, and also giving their cloaks a liberal supply of the same. ❋ Unknown (N/A)

I sold Deming 1,237 Waterbury watches, and Blossom a car-load of can-openers. ❋ William H. Maher (N/A)

He was a careless man, changing from one job to another, changing from paper-hanging to plastering, from fixing shingle roofs where the shingles were ripped to opening cans with can-openers. ❋ Unknown (1923)

Old Dock huddled over the three dozen can-openers. ❋ B. M. Bower (1905)

Also, most can-openers these days have bottle openers built in, or the wine opener does, so haveing a seperate ones seems silly, if we're only talking about space? ❋ Unknown (2009)

You think that when these gendarmes are fully-equipped with covert French can-openers, they're never gonna look at what ❋ Unknown (2009)

Men manufactured them as they manufacture can-openers, on the wholesale plan. " ❋ Sherwood Anderson (1908)

A guy who helps his [female partner] or [girl friend] pops her [cherry] by him being her can opener. ❋ WT87 (2011)

Today students, we will be preforming a simple operation of [foreign object] removal from the anus. The object we will be removing today is a butt plug. To start we put the patient in the fetal position and insert [the can opener]. We simply crank the can opener in a clockwise rotation to [widen] the anus until it is wide enough that the butt plug can simply be removed with tongs. Should the butt plug not easily come out, use some pliers or something. Just whatever you do, DO NOT stick your hand or fingers in there. God knows what else has been in there. ❋ Bodacious Brian (2013)

1. that was a fucking mean can opener 2. [lifeguard] 1: yo, that retarded girl keeps doing can openers off the high [dive] and im pretty sure shes gonna hit her head. lifeguard 2: yeah but her [splash] is amazing. ❋ K'mutodragon (2006)

Jimmy, stop banging your head on that [can of peas]. If you want to open it, use a [can opener]. Pretty Girl in Heels and a Skirt: "Thanks! Have a nice night!!" -smiles and walks off- Perverted 40 year old [BoyScout] Leader: "Your welcome." -smiles then turns to his fellow boyscouts- "WOW. That was a real [Can Opener]" ❋ DimSumKitti (2010)

Whoa, dude! That was some [can opener]! How about [opening] [the window]? ❋ J. Michael Reiter (2004)

He was [being a dick] so [I had] to use my can opener [on him]. ❋ Do I Need A Name (2008)

[Jared] and Jay did the [can-opener] on [Brittany] the other night in the high school parking lot. ❋ Kyle Kuff (2007)

Hey [Larry], I got drunk last, night fucked an old whore, and she gave me [a can] [opener]. ❋ Fidifo (2008)

Check out those [two guys], [I bet] you they are a [pair of] can openers ❋ Rich219 (2006)

I was [boning] my girlfriend and decided to perform [the can opener]. I still smell her ass on my [thumbs] now. ❋ Jim Lahey69 (2020)