Toilet Paper

MOSCOW—More than a dozen Russian companies seeking to raise $9.7 billion in initial public offering this year, ranging from a toilet-paper maker to a helicopter builder, will need to time their listing carefully so as not to come to market when the Kremlin is overwhelming international investors with state-asset sales. ❋ Nadia Popova (2011)

Mr. Grunstein in court papers has denied making the toilet-paper comparison and argued that the purchase option isn't valid because it was meant to be collateral for a loan that Mr. Schron never made. ❋ Anton Troianovski (2010)

I now give a few squirts of spray to the inside of my cardboard toilet-paper rolls so that, with each use, a nice scent is released. ❋ Washingtonpost.com (2010)

The gummint can take my poodle-headed crochet toilet-paper cozy when they pry it from my cold, dead hands! ❋ Unknown (2010)

Me: You are the brand manager for a leading American toilet-paper manufacturer and you do not know what a derder is? ❋ Gene Weingarten (2011)

I always make it a point to thank a store manager when the toilet-paper dispenser is placed where it is easier to use. ❋ Washingtonpost.com (2010)

OAO Syktyvkar Tissue Group, a toilet-paper producer, plans to float up to 30% of its shares on Micex, Russia's major stock exchange, in April or May. ❋ Nadia Popova (2011)

Dear Heloise: Where is it written that toilet-paper dispensers in stores and other public places have to be placed so close to the floor? ❋ Washingtonpost.com (2010)

Why do so many people lust after mud rooms, brushed-nickel toilet-paper holders, or countertops made from Giallo Ornamental Granite, imported from Brazil? ❋ Unknown (2009)

I forced the toilet-paper wad of earrings into her hand. ❋ BARBARA DEE (2010)

I admit I lovingly tease my husband about his ketchup and toilet-paper phobia, but after staying with some relatives for a few days, I realize it could be much worse. ❋ Suzanne Beecher (2010)

Not to mention marketing a new product, one little lock, when there are probably bathroom-supply companies that already sell doors and locks and toilet-paper dispensers. ❋ Jennifer Vanderbes (2010)

Maintenance workers discovered that the septic tanks were full of smooth stones — a toilet-paper substitute used by many rural Afghans. ❋ Unknown (2010)

This had come to involve, Tim had told her, going toilet-paper free the year before, and making his wife use discarded athletic socks for her monthly cycle. ❋ Jennifer Weiner (2010)

The water in one of the toilets was yellow with urine, and the toilet-paper bracket in a different stall was empty and wrenched half-off the wall. ❋ MARYN MCKENNA (2010)

Toilet [paper] is a [sacred] paper. Which is a [ritual] that is commonly performed, as we use it to clean? ❋ LazyPotatoChip (2020)

[I don't] have no [toilet paper]. ❋ Blabooga (2020)

dumb [middle age] woman : “Hey fuck off that’s my toilet paper” another dumb middle age woman : “ you have a [trolley] full [you dog]” *fight over toilet paper begins* ❋ Coughing Asian (2020)

"Toilet Paper has been nowhere to be seen since [the coronavirus] [raid] of [2020]." ❋ Cheek_Clapper (2020)

Where [can I] [buy] Toilet Paper? [Nowhere], there is no one ❋ DankWarrior703 (2020)

1. Use the toiletpaper this time son. [You smell] bad. 2. Oh my God, I've [run out] of paper and I will lose my [train of thought]. I better use some toiletpaper. ❋ Toiletpaperstories (2005)

Omg I got [toilet paper] for $[100] what a [deal] ❋ Suck My Lemons (2020)

Jimmy: Mom, can you hand me some toilet paper through the door? We ran out. Mom: Sure Jimmy, will [New Moon] work? Jimmy: I don't think [that's enough], I'm probably gonna use up a whole [Breaking Dawn] after that crap. ❋ 20505person (2013)

Ugh there’s Karen again with 500 [rolls] of [toilet paper] I will [wipe] my booty with this toilet paper ❋ Stareintothemaggotdraw (2020)

Person 1: "[Coronavirus] is spreading! What do we do?" Person 2: "Quick! We need to go to [Woolies] and buy some [toilet paper]!" ❋ The_not_famous_Clinton (2020)